December 2018 Class

MMLA Class Date: Monday December 17, 2018

Conscious Receiving

You’d think this time of year we would be talking about giving, however instead let’s talk about the power of receiving.

“Other people gave so you can enjoy this now.” – Paul50

Stage #1 – Unconscious Receiving

As a child, we live in the moment.  We don’t care about tomorrow or the past or even what others really think about us. My sister doesn’t even tell my young niece and nephew anything exciting that is going to happen in the future because they get way too excited!  This is unconscious receiving at it’s finest.

Receiving at this level is thrilling. You aren’t really thinking about the giver, or what went into the purchase process but only about what the gift is under the hidden wrapping paper.  Only the gift matters to you.  As soon as the present is unveiled, the thrill turns into either a burst of more joy, if it’s a gift we want, or a disappointing gesture, if it’s socks and underwear.

Stage #2 – Giving

As we get older, we start enjoying the act of giving; even more so than receiving. From providing to your family, to giving gifts for birthdays and the holidays, to taking the kids to their favorite theme park, there is so much fulfillment in seeing a child’s face light up with joy like your face once did.  

However, once we begin to understand this mindset, we start to not want to receive.  Why? Because we become consciously aware about all the aspects of gift giving.  It first starts with the intention of giving someone a gift. Then the person has to take time out of their day, then find a gift, buy the gift with their hard earned money, and finally present the gift to you in some sort of decoration or wrapping.

As givers ourselves we begin to understand the scope of it all, and we don’t want people to hassle over us.  We’re not here for the gift giving anyway, we’re here to add to the moment and improve the experience for others.  Then when someone gives us a gift we unconsciously respond with, “…you shouldn’t have!” or “…you’d didn’t have to go through all that trouble.” or even, “I can’t accept this!”

 “I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters.” – Oprah Winfrey

Stage #3 – Conscious Receiving

Why do we feel that other people shouldn’t go through the “trouble” of finding us a gift?  Is it really because we don’t want them to be hassled, or is it because maybe we feel undeserving?  Empathize with a gift giver and understand how these responses would make them feel.  The above responses gives the gift giver a feeling that they wasted their time on you, that you are not deserving, and punishes them for their efforts.

Instead, whenever anyone reaches out to us, this should be seen as an opportunity to uplift them.  People want to be noticed, they want to be heard, and they have a need to feel that what they do matters.  So when you receive the gift, don’t bat down their efforts, accept the gift fully.

Here are a few things you can do to conscious receive a gift:

• If you cannot think of anything to say, graciously say, “Thank you” and nothing more.
• If you are struggling with your self-worth, say to yourself, “I am a good person, and I do good things for people. I am deserving of this.” Then thank the person for the gift.
• Tell the person about the positive emotions the gift brings out of you. (i.e. “When I look at this, it makes me feel amazing because…”)
• Tell the person why their gift is meaningful to you. (i.e. “I’ve always wanted one of these because it reminds me of my late Grandfather who…”)
• Tell the person an uplifting story about why the gift has meaning to you. (i.e. “My mother always used to give me this growing up and just seeing/tasting/feeling/hearing this this reminds me of the time…”)
• Tell the person how you are going to use the item or how the item is going to help you on your journey. (i.e. “I always needed one of these because it helps me…”)

Lastly, what if it’s a bad gift? Then what do you say? What we have to remind ourselves is the person took time, which is a person’s most precious resource, to find and give you that gift and that should never be overlooked. However don’t be deceitful and tell them you are going to cherish a gift that you hate. Instead say:

• “Thank you!” and nothing more.
• “I appreciate you taking your time to think of me.”
• “You went out of your way for me, I appreciate that!”
• “This is a very nice gesture! I appreciate the good things you do for me and others.” 

Remember, it’s not about the gift, it’s about the gesture. They are reaching out to you because you bring value to their life, so why not say something that will uplift both of you?

Your responses have an effect on people whether you are conscious about what is coming out of your mouth or not.  Be aware of what you are saying, and take advantage of opporunities to build others up!

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